At least the drapes match the carpet now
February 17th, 2007 by Will
Ok, no joke at all now, Britney Spears just got crazy HOT:
http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20011773_1,00.html
The sad people who are out of control are all her supposed “fans” and all the other “concerned” people who are looking down at her and her recent behavior disapprovingly. I love to see a celebrity who was known for a squeaky clean image show some depth and throw out a “fuck you” to all the people who obsessed over them, without ever really knowing them, by actually revealing some depth and complications to her character.
Reminds me of first seeing Leonardo DiCaprio in The Beach. I and my pothead filmstudent college roomies were the only guys there amidst a crowd of teenage girls who had seen Titanic dozens of times a piece. Leo started the movie off with a shot of snake’s blood, but the girls were undeterred, confident that their beau would get cleaned up and sexy again on Phi Phi soon enough. Then halfway through comes the shark attack, rivers of blood running up the beach as horribly mutilated half dead bodies are dragged from the water and everyone is running around screaming. The girls in the theatre gasped, and gagged, and you could sense despaired confusion all around us. My estimation of DiCaprio went up considerably after that, and despite his handicap of being overly boyish to easily slip into mature men’s roles, he has still consistently been picking interesting projects to work on ever since.
Britney’s attractiveness was never based off of the virginal facade her original image consultants tried to pull on us so that 12-year old girls could buy her cds without their out-of-touch parents flipping out. The lowered smoldering eyes and the hip action in the school-girl skirt was always there to promise that a caged-but-wild animal was underneath just waiting to pounce. Now that animal is out and going wild and that’s beautiful. It’s a sick society that really was never admiring the beast inside but instead was just patting themselfs on their collective back on how nice and strong a cage they could build.
And what are people so disapproving of? She shaved her head? Hair is the last superficiality that shallow women cling to. A girl can eschew makeup and jewelry, wear pants, get tattooed, play sports, be an action hero, run for president, bang her girlfriends with a strap-on (oh hell yeah), play elite computer hackers in iconic geek films, and even cut their hair short but not off, and they’ll still be celebrated as empowered women gracing otherwise male trappings with their unique femininity.
Girls, your hair is not your femininity. And if you aren’t sexy without it, then I’m sorry but you’re not sexy with it either. Britney shaving her head is confidence, independence, liberating herself from the crushing expecations of her continued fame. It’s breaking free from the oppressing pedophilic box our society puts girls into, demanding they stay young and thin and virginal for all eternity so that each of us can be the only one to defile them alone in the privacy of our own repressed minds.
When I was a naive high school virgin myself, I probably couldn’t have had any greater fantasy than school-girl-Britney, blonde and supposedly untouched, just as naive herself. But I’m grown up now, and I’m wiser. And I know I want a girl who’s grown out of pretending to be sweet and innocent. I want a girl who’s lived, who’s made mistakes, who isn’t afraid to make more, who’s going to express herself regardless of what people say, who’s going to take chances and follow wherever adventure leads.
Britney is officially HOT again.